


All This Time, It Was You

by yeolmay



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Memories, Cliche, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Visions in dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25382686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolmay/pseuds/yeolmay
Summary: Byun Baekhyun is pathetically in love with the unrecognisable, faceless man he only meets when he sleeps.What will he do if one day, he's awoken from his sweet slumber for his nemesis—the annoying Park Chanyeol, literally turned out to be the man of his dreams?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	1. Prologue: Oh, You Were A Good Dream

* * *

Baekhyun feels warm, gentle fingers caressing his hair.

A plump pair of lips started planting soft kisses atop his crown.

There is low, gentle humming reverberating from where his cheek is resting.

_His person_ smells of apples and vanilla, with subtle notes of jasmine and gillyflower, and Baekhyun finds himself inhaling the scent, succumbing more and more to the broad chest underneath him.

The hand caressing his hair finds its way to his waist, grips it tight, and starts pulling him closer as if the infinitesimal distance between them can further be closed. Thick, calloused fingers began trailing along the skin of his exposed waist, playfully fondling with the little flabs on his side, and Baekhyun's breathing just quickens as tingling goosebumps rose on his skin.

Baekhyun suddenly catches himself smiling. He’s just too happy feeling so wanted, so needed, and so yearned for whenever he’s with _him_. His emotions right now are so raw and terrifying, as if it weren’t just a dream. 

"Are you awake, fireball?"

Baekhyun wasn’t ready for it. He momentarily freezes as he stares far ahead after realizing just where that deep baritone voice came from. 

In all of Baekhyun's dreams, _his person_ was mute. Their physical intimacy compensates for the fact that Baekhyun cannot see _his_ face nor hear _his_ voice. The nightly visions may have been consistent, but Baekhyun doesn't have even the slightest idea of who might be that person he regularly sees. 

The only thing he’s certain of, however, is the fact that he feels ironically comfortable feeling _his_ calloused hands against his skin, that he loves snuggling in _his_ warm, broad chest as _he_ cradles him, and that he—

“Hey, fireball.. I know you’re awake already..”

Baekhyun is so close to losing it. This is his first time hearing something from _him_ and chaos is an understatement for what is currently happening in his entire body.

The ‘butterflies’ are already fluttering in his every organ and he believes that his heart rate is now at a hundred beats per minute. _Isn’t tachycardia during sleep too dangerous?_ The rational side of him panics.

_Wait, ‘fireball’?_ Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows quizzically. _Was_ _I ‘fireball’? There's no one else in the room with us so it's definitely me, right?_ _Why ‘fireball’, though?_ He wonders as he tries to calm himself down.

_Hmmm. Wait a second.. Why does the low, raspy voice sound so familiar?_

Baekhyun's pretty sure he's still dreaming but he's now worried of his frantically beating heart that might jostle him awake if it does not calm down anytime sooner.

His mind is a mess, debating whether to just savour the moment of hearing the man's voice for the first time or be the better person and answer something that goes like, _"Yes, I am awake and I think I'm in love with you..”_ and maybe add _“—from the moment you started appearing in my dreams.”_ in the end.

Baekhyun decides the latter option is better so he gets up to face _him,_ eyes closed for extra dramatic flair even though he's quite certain that he'll be met— _yet again_ , with a faceless man once he opens his eyes.

_Hearing his voice for the first time is already a huge breakthrough.. a face reveal will be too much for now... right, universe?_ Baekhyun assures himself as he prepares to look at _him._

But when he finally did,

Brown, curly hair with pointy ears sticking out despite lusciously thick locks...

..a pair of adorably large, almond-shaped eyes crinkling a bit on the sides... 

..and a plump, slightly chapped lips half-raising into a smile greets him, 

"Good morning, _baby_."

Baekhyun freezes in his spot as he stares back at _him_ **.** His mouth agape at the sudden revelation that _this person_ —o _f all people!_ turns out to be _his person._

He feels the warmth that crept on his chest from the moment his dream began now slowly turning ice cold with each passing minute. The once fuzzy feeling brought by the butterflies in his stomach is now replaced by the awful, queasy nausea that makes him want to throw up.

_How in the fresh hell did this giant become the man of my dreams?_ Baekhyun mentally curses. _I_ _s the universe playing tricks on me?_

The said _giant_ also looks at him dumbfounded and it irritates him more. Baekhyun shakes his head violently. He can’t stand this any longer. He has to speak now and end this nonsense.

"Ch-Chanyeol?" Baekhyun gulps. _That clearly didn’t sound snappy at all._ Since when did his voice start shaking while talking to _him_? "Why wha— what are you doing here?"

Baekhyun sees Chanyeol's warm expression from earlier now slowly fading. He's not sure if he's just imagining it but he also thinks _his_ eyes even looked offended. So it amazes him at how the taller was still able to place him better atop _his_ body when he tried to move away.

The skin to skin contact is enough to rile Baekhyun up. He swears he could feel his temperature rise that steam is probably going off his ears. He badly wants to get away but Chanyeol is still holding him strong.

Ideally, Baekhyun would be able to manhandle Chanyeol and just push him aside—finally putting his 9 years of Hapkido training to good use, but for some reason, he can’t do anything but just glare at the taller. 

Baekhyun must've been staring too long. Everything is just a lot for him to take in. How did his most hated person turn out to be the man of his dreams?

A deep chuckle from Chanyeol brings him back to his senses.

"Hey, _baby_.." another chuckle, "Are you still dreaming?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a single line from Honne's Loving You Is So Easy that made me write a drabble on the notes app of my phone. I can't control what happened next as the words just kept coming out as I type. ><
> 
> This is also my first attempt at writing fan fiction and English is not my first language so I apologize now if this'll not turn out nicely. To whoever decides to read this, omg thank you. And at the same time, I'm sorry hahaha. Please see this as a work of someone who's still 'testing the waters' with writing.
> 
> Anyway, the story will be chaptered for I currently have so many thoughts about this. I wish to be able to commit to it, though. *cross fingers*
> 
> Until then! <3


	2. 1 - Would You Be So Kind?

The 12 o' clock situation at Jekyll University isn't anymore a surprise for Byun Baekhyun. The deafening bell followed by uproarious chatter of rowdy students is just a magnification of the noise he has right next to him.

"Yah! You two! What do you have for lunch?” said noise persists, “Oh nooo, so many people are lining up already! I don't think I will ever get to have a serving.." a whining Kim Jongdae says right next to his ear.

"Who does Megamind think he is? That _fucking_ old man.. Does he think it's cool to dismiss us 15 minutes past his period?! Now I have to line up for another 15 _fucking_ minutes to just eat!" the Cheshire-like man continues to huff in annoyance.

Megamind is the universal codename they use for their Organic Chemistry professor, Mr. Lee. The alias is popular among all students since the said professor's most prominent features resemble the cartoon character. The similarity in having highly raised eyebrows is uncanny but the real catch is that the expanse of his forehead is, _you know.._

Baekhyun feels sorry for Jongdae but he is still so drained from their extended Chemistry period that in his mind are just recurring benzenes. He just smiled and patted Jongdae's shoulder, a silent way of telling him it's okay, and a subtle plea for him to _please_ be quiet.

Baekhyun then turns his attention to the four-eyed baldie on his left. Amused at how the said baldie is already shooting annoyed glances at the sulking man on his right. The familiar sight is enough to make him chuckle. He’s pretty sure another fit of bickering will ensue in _3, 2, 1..._

"For Megamind's sake.. Just shut up now, Jongdae-yah! You can just share Baekhyun and I's food so stop whining like a hyena!"

Baekhyun laughs at the sudden outburst. _Just as I expected,_ he wanted to say but he just winked at the baldie, a way of thanking him for making Jongdae's incessant whining stop.

Do Kyungsoo completes the trio of Baekhyun's circle of friends. In contrast to Jongdae who's chatty most of the time, this person is more reserved and quiet. The first time Baekhyun met Kyungsoo, he was very intimidated by the glares given by the latter. Later on, he found out that he judged the poor guy wrongly. 

The deadly stares directed to him was just because said guy has astigmatism. He also learned that the baldie may be a man of few words, but has these subtle actions of caring for him and Jongdae, which Baekhyun finds very much endearing.

His two best friends being total opposites amuse the hell out of Baekhyun. He loves his friends dearly and actually thinks that the three of them are made for each other. Not romantically, though. The thought just sends shivers down his spine. 

In their friendship, Baekhyun feels like he is the anchor pulling these two opposites together, the perfect balance smoothening out their differences to harmony.

The trio walks to their favorite spot in the canteen—a cozy table on the left wing, situated right next to a sliding door that's overlooking the university's greenish field. They somehow marked the spot to themselves for three years now since every time they go there, it is readily available. 

Not that the "normal students" prefer the tables on the center aisle, or the right wing overlooking the outdoor basketball court, nor do these "normal students" think that the left wing is where the nerds, the weirds, or the misfits belong. Nope. Not at all.

They don't care about labels and stereotypes in their school, anyway. Yes, they may be complete nerds being always on the top of their classes but they sure do, most especially Jongdae, know how to have fun.

Jongdae is the social butterfly of their group and is almost always out on weekends, hooking up with different guys and girls—whichever he prefers for certain nights. On the other hand, Kyungsoo—albeit looking uninterested 24/7, is actually in a long-term relationship with a junior named Kim Jongin.

Kim _Fucking_ Jongin, the Adonis of the sophomores, a man whose physical features were molded by the gods and goddesses of beauty, a heartthrob capable of snatching every man and woman with just him existing, also the very man who cowers upon the sight of Do Kyungsoo. Whenever the two of them are together, Baekhyun is just entertained at how such a bear _the_ Kim Jongin is, clinging towards Kyungsoo despite the latter being inches shorter than him.

So to say that their bunch is on the weird part of their school's social cliques is quite inaccurate. So far, Kyungsoo and Jongdae are very "normal". Them being with Baekhyun makes the latter "normal" too, right?

Even though he prefers binge watching movies than going to parties? Or that his sex life, rather the lack thereof, is offset by cuddles he gets from his dog? And that he doesn't have a boyfriend who clings to him like a bear 24/7?

Yeap, perfectly normal. And no, Baekhyun is not being defensive. Definitely not.

Besides, he already has _his person_. The thought is just enough to wreak havoc to his heart, feeling all the butterflies in his stomach flutter. 

"You look dazed. Thinking about dream boy again?" Jongdae cuts through Baekhyun’s train of thought.

Baekhyun sees the cheshire man smirking at him and he swears, he can feel his ears starting to redden with the teasing.

"Baek, don't tell me he visited you again last night?" Kyungsoo also asks while placing his aesthetically pleasing bento boxes on their table.

Jongdae was quick to grab Kyungsoo's chopsticks. Soon enough, a piece of kimbap found its way to his mouth, making him hum in delight at the first contact of food and his tongue.

"YAH! How could you eat my food before me?!"

"Hey Kyungsoo, I may be sexually adventurous but I never thought of eating you?" cue: a pout emphasizing high cheekbones and fake worrying portrayed by a set of bent eyebrows, "But we can make arrangements if you're that interes—"

"SHUT IT! You know that's not what I meant!" closed fits banged loudly on their table, and Baekhyun swears his tupperware bounced lightly at the impact, "Stop saying ridiculous things, Jongdae-yah! I might lose my appetite if you continue talking!"

"That's actually the plan, Soo. Don't worry, I'll devour your food in no time."

Kyungsoo's round eyes are almost coming out as he grits his teeth. Baekhyun has to intervene now or they won't be able to finish their lunch peacefully.

"Ohkay! That's enough. Jongdae, here eat this," he pushes his tuna omelette towards the naughty guy. "Let Kyungsoo eat in peace if you don't want Jongin to come for you."

"Wow, Baek, that looks delicious! Do you have gochujang?"

"This ungrateful piece of shit. Baekhyun already gave you his food and you still have the audacity to demand for a for a fucking gochujang?"

Jongdae was about to snap back at Kyungsoo's snarky remark but Baekhyun was quick to shove a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

"Soo, Dae, Guess what. Last night I almost saw his face.." this caught the quarrelling duo's reaction so Baekhyun proceeds, "We were at a certain park. He was resting his back against the trunk and I was nestled comfortably on his broad chest..”

Baekhyun is glad that his two friends are now more interested in his dream than to bite each other's heads off over a 'fucking gochujang'.

"He smells good.." a smile slowly creeps on Baekhyun's face, "He was wearing a black shirt and just denim shorts.. dressed so simply but I still find him so handsome."

Jongdae and Kyungsoo just gape at him, thinking that if there would be a real life depiction of the heart-eyed emoji, it would definitely be Baekhyun right now.

"Earth to Baekhyun! How can you say a person is handsome even without actually seeing their face?" Jongdae asks, genuinely worried for him.

"Dae, his build is handsome." Baekhyun says like he's so sure of it, oblivious to the fact that his friends are quite alarmed of him drowning again in his fantasies.

"Baek, do you want me to introduce you to some of Jongin's friends?"

Kyungsoo knows he'll offend Baekhyun if he tells him straight away that he should stop going delusional over the man of his dreams. He elbows Jongdae once he sees Baekhyun staring far ahead, flushed face resting on his own palms. Most probably still drunk over his encounter with dream boy last night.

The concerned pair unconsciously sighed, earning Baekhyun's full attention.

Baekhyun seemed to read into his friends worried expressions. He is already used to their futile attempt to hide it, anyway. He knows the two are just genuinely concerned for his sanity.

But what can he do? He just can't help but be drawn towards the man he meets only in his dreams. No face to recognize, nor a voice to acknowledge, and yet he feels so sure around _him_ . He feels so sure about _him_. 

His dream boy is the sweetest apparition, the perfect hallucination, and every night, Baekhyun wonders when will _he_ ever reveal himself. Day by day, Baekhyun just finds himself falling deeper. He can’t imagine just how hard he’ll fall once he finally sees who _he_ is. 

Ridiculous as it might sound, but that’s how Baekhyun is feeling. _Sure_. He’s just sure that once he puts a face to that man of his dreams, he’ll do everything to make those beautiful dreams turn into reality. No matter what.

"Guys, you don't know how funny you two look right now." he says while looking at his friends disoriented expressions.

"Baek, Soo is right. Maybe you need to socialize more? I can bring you with me on the weekend. It's going to be fun I promise."

"Why do I still have to do that? I'm content with just my Daedae and Poochie." he says, attempting to charm his friends with his pouting and by calling them their most hated nicknames.

"Stop that." Kyungsoo shoots him a disgusted look.

"Hmmmm why, Poochie-poo? Are you annoyed at Baekkie?"

"Stop it or I'll—" Kyungsoo's hand is already midair, about to throw orange peels to Baekhyun, when loud crashing noises of silverware put the whole cafeteria to a halt.

All of the students craned their neck to look at the source of the discordance. 

Standing beside the largest table on the center aisle, is a pale man with his head hung low, shaking in fear for his dear life. He must be so unlucky that his own feet failed him, tripping over right next to the table of the most popular and feared clique on the campus.

The worst part is not that his food is now a complete waste but the fact that his curry is currently splayed all over the polo of the tall, handsome guy seated on the edge.

Of course, it had to be _him._

* * *

"YAH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??!" The woman seated next to Mr. Handsome yells, seemingly more agitated.

"Calm down, Jinah. The whole school is already staring at our table." The husky baritone voice attempted to shush the frantic lady.

"Oh shut it, Chanyeol! This weirdo right here doesn't know how to walk properly. Yah! Are your eyes functioning or what?!"

Poor guy just keeps muttering apologies after apologies while bowing continuously in front of the infamous Park Chanyeol. The latter doesn't even bat him an eye, and is just busy wiping off the stains from his polo. His expression clearly shows annoyance.

"I— Let me bring your polo to the laundromat, Chanyeol-ssi. I- I swear I didn't mean to trip o-over." Yixing suggests as an attempt to salvage himself from embarrassment.

"Forget it." comes the cold reply, "Just make sure to never run into me again." the stare Chanyeol has thrown him is too icy that the poor guy unconsciously took a step back.

"O-of course. Again, I'm sorry." he manages to reply before running away towards the cafeteria exit.

* * *

Baekhyun can't help but feel sorry for the poor guy at the cafeteria. They were almost done with their lunch yet they still had to witness the embarrassing situation.

He can't help but feel the urge to defend the poor guy from _that jerk_. If not only for Jongdae's perpetual whining to come with him to the bathroom, Baekhyun must've straight up went to Chanyeol's face to yell "It was an accident! Stop bullying him!"

"Oooh, Baekkie Baek here looks angry?” Jongdae smirks as he washes his hands, his eyes staring at Baekhyun’s through the lavatory mirror, “Do you wanna go back and punch Chanyeol's face for that poor guy?"

"If we still have enough time I probably would.” Baekhyun spats like he was the one who got shouted at earlier. “The nerve of the jerk to bully other people." 

"He seems innocent though? It was the high-pitched yelling of that Jinah who humiliated the curry boy further. Park was just busy removing carrots from his shirt." Jongdae let out a chuckle, "It's actually funny now that I think of it."

"Still. He could've appeased the guy. Poor boy tripped himself and lost his lunch too. If you saw how his hands trembled at Chanyeol's glare, you'd definitely feel sorry for him." Baekhyun answers as he hands a tissue to Jongdae whose hands are dripping wet.

"If I were Park, I'd have the same initial reaction too. Why are you so mad anyway?"

"I don't know. I just really hate their group. They think they're better than everyone else when in reality they're just fucking spoiled brats."

There was a clearing of one's throat that interrupted the two of them.

"Are you done insulting me, Byun?"

Baekhyun turns his head towards the sudden address. Chanyeol's stone cold stare throws daggers at him. He's already used to frequent bickering with this guy but times like this are rare when he feels intimidated at how the taller furrows his eyebrows at him.

He won't back down, though, so he equally fought back by looking straight into his enemy's eye.

"It's true anyway." 

"I have no time for you, Byun. Now, if you're done using the lavatory.."

_Right, the curry..._ Baekhyun thinks. He still wants to have the last word with Chanyeol but Jongdae already beat him to it, dragging his arm out of the comfort room.

"Make it quick, Park. Class starts in 15 minutes." Jongdae singsongs.

Baekhyun lifts an eyebrow at his friend, questioning his cheerful nature towards his least favorite person.

Jongdae's arm is now draped over Baekhyun's shoulder as they trot their way to the laboratory building. Their next class is BioSci and it's just two weeks into the semester yet they are already fed up with all of their majors.

"Calm down now, will you? Your nerves are so tense and I can feel it!"

"Since when did you get friendly with Park Chanyeol, huh?"

"Baek, you know I’m always friendly!" Jongdae whines again for the nth time that day.

"Well I don't like you being friendly with him." Baekhyun pouts back to the whining man.

"Just what is the deal with you and Park? For long as I can remember, you always hated each other's guts. Sometimes, I think you two are just so childish."

"It's more than that, Dae. I just really hate the way their group belittles people. How many from our batch transferred already because of running across them badly?"

"Hmm. But as far as I notice though, Chanyeol is the least ass among them. I never heard of anyone bullied by him directly. Just that he has a bad temper and is easily pissed. Other than that, he's all good."

"Are you defending him?!" Baekhyun's voice rises in disbelief.

"Sometimes I just think he's in a bad company, Baek. Cut him some slack."

"Ugh. I can't believe we're having this conversation right now, Jongdae. I miss Kyungsoo," he pouts, "Why does Jongin have to snatch him away from us everyday.."

"Oh you want that too? Come with me on Saturday and go get yourself a boyfriend." There is jerking of Jongdae's eyebrows and Baekhyun just cringes at his friend's weirdness.

Just when they are about to take another flight of stairs, Baekhyun hears faint sobs coming from the equipment room beside the staircase. He turns to Jongdae who seems oblivious and actually surprised at Baekhyun's sudden halt at the base of the stairs. Jongdae raises his eyebrows at him, wordlessly asking _why did you stop?_

"I think I heard something," Baekhyun whispers, his right index finger signalling Jongdae to keep quiet.

"Baek we'll get late if we wander—"

"Ssshhh!"

Baekhyun follows the sound of faint sobbing and slowly turns the knob of the door to the equipment room. Jongdae peeks from behind, curious of what his friend is currently up to. 

What greeted them inside is the poor guy from earlier, seated on the farthest corner of the floor beside some old microscopes.

Drying tears are still running on both sides of the guy’s cheeks. His crying was interrupted by the duo's intrusion and the three of them spent an awkward minute just staring at each other before Baekhyun finally spoke up. 

"Hey, you were the one from the cafeteria right?" his voice came out soothing.

"Y-yeah" a fresh pool of tears started forming again on the boy's eyes, "D-did they send you to beat me?" a tear fell successfully, "I-I swear I didn't mean to-"

"Shhh no. Stop crying.." Baekhyun crouches down so he is eye level with the crying guy. "They're not coming for you, hm? I just heard your sobs from outside so I felt like I needed to check on it." he says, smiling.

The guy was surprised by the sudden act of kindness before him, "Thank you.." he replies back with a small voice.

"I'm Baekhyun, by the way. And here behind me is my friend, Jongdae." said man waves after being introduced, "From what class are you?"

"Oh, I'm Zhang Yixing and I'm from 2-D." he says, showing an adorable dimpled smile to the two of them.

"That's cute. We're from 3-A." Baekhyun's bright smile matches with the sophomore's.

"2-D, you said?" Jongdae got a nod as a reply. "I think that's Jongin's class too. Do you know him? Kim Jongin?"

"Yes, I have heard of him but I.." Yixing hesitates, "I kind of have no friends in our class since I'm a foreigner and I'm afraid of approaching them." he sighs, "I just recently transferred here."

The duo feels bad with the way Yixing's adorable smile vanished. They can imagine just how hard it is to adjust to a new environment without knowing anyone. The moment earlier in the cafeteria must have added more to the younger's frustrations. 

Poor boy didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Chanyeol and his clique's wrath.

"Yah! Don't sulk." Jongdae's loud voice made the two other persons in the room look at him, "Who says you have no friends? From now on, Baekhyun and I are your friends. Also Do Kyungsoo. You haven't met him yet but the three of us come together as a package." he winks at Yixing.

Yixing manages a laugh, his whole sour mood earlier slowly becoming saccharine. 

"Here." Baekhyun hands him a banana, "Your lunch was eaten by Chanyeol's clothes earlier, right? Sorry I only have this left since Jongdae here ate all of my snacks."

"Yah! I did not!"

Yixing gladly takes the fruit from Baekhyun's hands. It was just a simple gesture but he appreciates it so much. His mind is now at ease, knowing that he has two persons—no three persons (they're a package with Kyungsoo, right) who he can now call as his friends.

"Hey, Yixing-ah. We'd love to still hang with you but we're already running late for our class upstairs." Baekhyun stands from his crouching position, "Give me your phone so I can put in Jongdae and I's contact."

Yixing nods and hands him his phone.

"Yixing-ah, don't worry. I'll tell Kim Jongin to befriend you so he doesn't go stealing Kyungsoo from Baekkie and I all the time."

Yixing didn't understand what Jongdae meant but still, he gave him a slow nod.

The duo bids their final "See ya!" to the sophomore before finally rushing up the stairs for their next class. They take two steps at a time, praying that their professor is still in the faculty room that is a building away from where they are.

When they reached their room, some of their blockmates were still on the corridor outside, including Chanyeol's clique. They let out a sigh of relief after knowing that their professor is still yet to arrive.

Baekhyun settles on his stool right away, panting as he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead. He glances at Jongdae from the other end of their row and laughs upon seeing his friend equally out of breath. 

“Whew. That was tiring.” Baekhyun mumbles before taking a sip on his water bottle, fully engrossed with the feeling of his thirst being quenched, and completely oblivious to the pair of eyes staring at him from outside the laboratory.

The same way the said orbs observed him earlier, through the door of the equipment room he and Jongdae left ajar when they entered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for making Yixing younger here. I didn't mean to, it just happened lol.


	3. 2 - It Would've Been You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if _the clique_ isn't so bad after all?

_Why does it feel so familiar?_

_The reassuring smile..._

_the pair of hands giving out a token of consolation..._

_the wonderful aching I feel in my chest…_

Chanyeol stares into space while fumbling with Missy's bony fingers. His lab manual that should now have illustrations of the skeletal structure of the hands, is still left unattended.

"That's creepy, Park." said the shadow of a tall man looming over him.

Said presence didn't register with Chanyeol. He is still engrossed with his daydreaming that he unconsciously strokes over and over the phalanges of the skeletal system model—which apparently, is named Missy.

"You know what, your curry stain isn't that bad. It actually looks aesthetic.." the same voice persists to interrupt Chanyeol's musing.

Their class is separated into groups, each given a specific model of each part of the human body. They are tasked to draw it on their manuals and familiarize themselves for their upcoming moving practicals.

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows as he continues to get lost in his thoughts. _No. What the hell... Why am I even associating that beautiful memory with him…_

"Is that how single you are? Holding hands with a toy skeleton?" The rest of their group attempted to hold their laughter upon hearing that, but their restraint made weird noises that the owner of the voice shot them a look at.

Oh Sehun. The impassive man who only talks rarely, turned around to face his group mates. He gives off a formidable impression because of his sharp features that people who don't really know him always feel intimidated. That is why upon catching his attention, his group mates who were once very interested averted their gazes right away.

_Tch._ Sehun clicks his tongue, already used to the feeling. He knows the effect he has on people and even though he doesn't quite understand it, he doesn't care anymore. Little do what the majority know, his attitude around his friends is the exact opposite of their perception of him.

Good thing, he and Chanyeol are in the same class and are usually in the same groupings. So he just turns his attention to the latter again, poking on the little flab he has on his side.

The act made Chanyeol bounce on his chair, surprising the rest of their group. They must really enjoy seeing the frolicking of the most cheerless people in their class that they laughed upon seeing Chanyeol lose his cool.

However, it died down right away when they saw how furrowed Chanyeol's brows are while looking at them for laughing. So they went back to sketching random bone structures, not noticing how red Chanyeol's ears had turned from embarrassment.

"What do you want?" Chanyeol asks, finally giving the attention Sehun had been asking for.

"You've been holding Missy's hand for a long time!" a pout, "I'm almost done with the lab sheet except for the hands..."

"Oh." of course, Chanyeol didn't know.

Sehun snatches the skeletal model from Chanyeol's hands and grabs a nearby chair to sit beside the still confused man. "What's bothering you?"

Upon hearing the question, Chanyeol finds himself looking for _him_ in the room. He sees the petite male laughing along with his group mates, making silly poses while taking pictures with the Muscles Of The Face model. He sees him remove the orbicularis oris and place it atop of his own mouth, making his group mates hysterical.

Chanyeol doesn't notice a smirk forming on his own face, showing a lone dimple on his cheek but Sehun does. Curious, the latter looks at what made his friend so happy.

"So you're smiling at Baekhyun now?"

"Huh?" Chanyeol scowls at his friend who he thinks is, quote unquote, seeing things.

"You know what, he's actually your type," he chuckles, "I don't get why the two of you quarrel so often like elementary students."

"FYI, I don't quarrel with him. Ever since that accident when we were freshmen, he already started hating on me. I just have to return the hate besides-" _he is also very judgemental_ , he wanted to add but he was taken aback when Baekhyun glanced at their table for a second, so he abruptly looked away.

"Did he just catch you staring?"

"I wasn't!" Chanyeol was so quick to deny. So quick.

Sehun playfully wiggles his eyebrows at his friend. He knows that Chanyeol had always been intrigued by Baekhyun despite the latter being so repulsive.

Sehun is well aware that their clique annoys Baekhyun like everyone else because of prejudice, but for some unknown reason, he observes that the petite male picks on Chanyeol more.

"Hey. They say the deeper the hate, the deeper the love. Wachu think?" he asks Chanyeol, just curious of how his friend will react.

"Are you implying something?" comes the cautious reply, obviously annoyed.

Sehun smirks. "Ooh, I wasn't implying anything, though?" he says as he makes a weird, fake thinking expression.

Chanyeol just huffs, then shakes his head, before finally drawing a part of Missy's carpal on his lab sheet. 

_Interesting_ , Sehun wants to comment but he decides to just keep it to himself.

* * *

**October 2016 - Freshman year, a few weeks before the end of the first semester.**

_Freshman Baekhyun is proud of the finished product._

_He pulled off all-nighters just to perfect his final requirement in General Chemistry—a 3D molecular structure of caffeine. He intricately designed each Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen atoms and spent a good amount of time accurately placing all of the covalent bonds._

_Baekhyun sat in one of the benches outside the library to kill time. His newly found friends Jongdae and Kyungsoo are still busy cramming their respective models. Their GenChem class is still an hour away so he decided to just sit there and people watch._

_He badly wants to impress their terror professor so the latter can give him the best grade possible. He only needs to get a 1.5 grade in her subject and his scholarship for this semester is already secured._

_Ms. David is a very stern woman who was once so cheerful. According to hearsay, her ex-lover lied to her about being married to someone else during their relationship. At first, she trusted him when he said he isn't living anymore with his wife and that they're already planning to get divorced. But one day, a pregnant woman came to her begging. The said woman turned out to be his wife and the baby in her womb is their daughter._

_Ms. David cried for days. She wanted to be selfish but she can't just ignore the guilt whenever she thinks of the baby. In the end, she ended her relationship with him. She wasn't lying when at first, she hoped her ex-lover would still choose her, so it broke her more when he agreed to her decision right away. From then on, she became heartless. And her students her punching bag._

_Whenever Baekhyun remembers Jongdae telling him the story about Ms. David, he can't help but feel sorry for the old woman. She may have all the titles after her name for being great in her field but Baekhyun can still see through her soulless eyes that she isn't really happy._

_"I hope my project will make her smile, though." he hopes as he eyes his perfectly constructed molecular model._

_20 minutes before their class starts, Baekhyun already started walking towards their room._

_He mutters soft 'excuse me's whenever he passes by a crowd, protecting his project from any unwanted collision. He carefully balances the project on his forearms as he struts his way up the stairs, feeling proud whenever a random stranger comments 'wow' or 'that's nicely done!' at him._

_He finally sees the door to room 214 after what feels like eternity. He's still about 10 minutes early so he decides to just chill inside and wait for their professor and the rest of the class._

_Baekhyun heaves a sigh of relief and carefully positions his project on one arm. His other arm wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead, just making himself more presentable prior to finally twisting the doorknob and entering their room._

_But before he can actually do that,_

**_BANG!_ **

_The door opened from the inside and hit him unexpectedly, quite too suddenly, and unfortunately strong, that all the covalent bonds of caffeine are broken off._

_The once stable molecules flew everywhere due to the strong energy that separated the bonded atoms. The ball models for Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen bounced along the tiled floors, looking like random colored ping pong balls._

_An audible gasp, "Fuck, I'm so sorry!!"_

_Baekhyun was too shocked that the apology fell on deaf ears._

_His mind starts to paint a picture of Ms. David—the heartless Ms. David who'll never understand 'I did have my project but it was knocked over just a few minutes ago, I swear'._

_He thinks of the possibility of losing his scholarship once he becomes marked incomplete._

_He wanted to go after the balls of Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, and Oxygen in an attempt to still glue them together, but his feet are stuck from where he stands and his eyes are blurry from the pool of tears that he can't already see where the elements bounced off to._

* * *

Chanyeol almost gives up on his drawing. The metacarpals on his lab manual definitely looked more like sausages than human bones. He wanted to ask Sehun to draw for him but he only got an immature man with his tongue out and a ridiculous 'blehh' as a reply. 

"Are we joining them to Ko Ko tonight?" Sehun asks him when he finally gave up on his drawing.

"I think I'll pass. I just want to dedicate my weekend to sleep." 

Sehun looks at Chanyeol for a while, contemplating whether to convince him to come or just side with his decision to take a break from drinking this weekend. Besides, he also felt the need to catch on some zzzs for their past week had been a little hectic.

"Okay, then. I'm not going too." he says as he taps on his phone, probably telling their friends that he and Chanyeol will not be joining them later.

* * *

**January 2017 - Freshman year, 2 months into the second semester.**

_Baekhyun’s shift at the coffee shop is finally over and exhaustion takes over him. He yawns his way back to the employees room to change into his casual clothes when a group of noisy college students caught his attention._

_He cranes his neck towards their direction, just curious of why such a group decided to have their coffee fixed at this hour. They don't look like ones who study at coffee shops, though, he muses. Ah... They're tipsy? They'll wash down the alcohol with coffee, eh?_

_He scans through them and realizes that some of them are familiar faces from his school. With how they dress themselves, Baekhyun can bet that they are the sons and daughters of rich businessmen. He smiles at the thought, thinking that if things were still the same way as before, he would probably be like one of them._

_A tall, lanky guy in a snapback caught Baekhyun's attention. He sees the guy's face flushed with alcohol, laughing along with his friends over some silly joke. Baekhyun can't deny the fact that he looks charming at that moment but the thought is shrugged abruptly after remembering the misfortune said guy did to him._

_"The nerve of that jerk! If it wasn't for his clumsy ass I wouldn't be tiring myself here right now." an exasperated huff, "Now he's out there partying, huh? He celebrates being in the dean's list? This is so unfair." a grunting Baekhyun says as he throws his apron inside his locker, "Oh what a way to end this tiring day!"_

_Baekhyun lost his full scholarship last semester since Ms. David did not buy his 'ridiculous excuse'. He tried hard not to cry in front of her when she told him that she has no choice but give him a grade of 2.0 for his incomplete requirement._

_The professor said she's already being considerate enough since Baekhyun is in good standing since the start of their class, but she'll never let him slide for the lack of final output. The said grade in one of his majors affected his general average, making him miss the required GWA needed to maintain his full scholarship._

_The universe is still good to him though, for the dean is compassionate enough to allow him a probationary period of one semester to prove his entitlement to a full scholarship. They agreed to just give him a 50% scholarship for the second semester and if he earns the required average by the end of it, he'll be back to getting the full scholarship again in his sophomore year._

_Baekhyun didn't want to bother his aunt any further so he didn't tell her about his situation. He worked part-time at a coffee shop and offered tutoring service to some high school students in order to make up for the remaining fees he has in school._

_He has two more months of working in the café before the dean's office deliberates on his scholarship situation. So far so good though, for he's confident about his grades this semester. He managed to power through despite going maximum overdrive shuffling everything all at once._

_When he's done changing back to his casual clothes, he waves goodbye to the manager Kim Minseok who's currently manning the cashier. Baekhyun admires the said man for despite his authority, he still willingly helps his team whenever they need extra manpower._

_"Take care on your way home, Baekhyun-ah!" Minseok flashes him his classic feline smile._

_Baekhyun's aunt's house is not too far from the café so he just walks his way home. It's almost 10pm and he's already used to being alone in the streets after his shift but for that certain night, his senses are quite more alert._

_He turns back his head to confirm the gut feeling that someone is following him but when he sees no one behind, he just goes on with his walk. Maybe it's just a stray cat, he thought._

_A hyperactive Mongryong welcomes him by the door. He plays with his dog for a while before going up to his room. When it seemed that they had enough cuddles and catching up, Baekhyun decided to go in and prepare for his much awaited sleep._

_It was the first night that he dreamt of him._

* * *

Their classes for that afternoon are already finished. Chanyeol and Sehun packed their things and bought some snacks to munch on before walking towards the school's carpark.

"WATCH OUT!!" a volleyball almost hits Sehun in the face if not for his quick reflexes to dodge it away.

"Here." he hands the ball back to the seemingly terrified student.

"S-sorry, Sehun-ssi. Please d-don't get mad.."

"What?!" Sehun asks, surprised. But before the student could explain himself, he already went running back to the field.

The student probably got overwhelmed by Sehun's raised voice and knitted eyebrows. He perhaps thought that the latter would grab him by the collar of his P.E uniform and mutter threats right to his face. When in reality, Sehun is just really taken aback on why the student started apologizing for something he cannot control.

"You know what, I don't know if this prejudice against us is a blessing or a curse." he turns his head to Chanyeol who is sporting an indifferent expression.

"I'm used to it by now. Less interactions, less problems."

"I'm not even doing anything to them and yet they already have their defenses up against me," a pout, "I'm not a bad person!" a longer pout.

Chanyeol chuckles at his friend’s frustration. "Must be your face, then."

"Hah!" Sehun lets out an exasperated sigh, "Says someone who has a permanent scowl on his face."

Now it's Chanyeol's turn to pout at his friend.

As the two long-legged men continue walking to their cars, Chanyeol pondered, _what exactly is the deal with our clique, anyway?_

To start, their group goes way back to their high school days, some even elementary. They are the children of their business-partners parents who just grew up together, attending the same prestigious schools.

Sehun is the closest to Chanyeol. They were together since they were kids and even witnessed each other grow through puberty. Their bond is just that unbreakable. They may appear arrogant with their cold facial expressions and strong built but deep inside, they're just dorks who are awkward with people they don't know.

Wu Yifan, also known as Kris Wu, is an upperclassman who also joins the clique. He graduated from the same high school and is now in the same college department as them. He has this cold stare that is enough for people to avoid running into him. Rumor has it that he used to threaten a junior named Kim Junmyeon—who used to like him, to back off to the point that the latter was forced to transfer schools.

What the majority of the school population didn't know is that Kim Junmyeon is a creepy stalker of Kris. The weird guy pretends to be a nerd to keep the attention away from him as he carries on with his obsession. At first, Kris was kind enough to tell him that he's not interested but Junmyeon didn't seem to care. So when Kris told the latter to stop what he's doing, it started getting out of hand.

Junmyeon began following him everywhere—the bathroom, the carpark, and even going overboard by trailing him to his own house. One time, he tried to lock them together in the school's comfort room in an attempt to seduce Kris, but the latter was too quick-witted to prevent that thing from happening.

Junmyeon presented himself the next day with self-inflicted bruises, saying it was Kris who did it to him. The majority believed the "poor nerd", painting Kris as an awful person.

Kris isn't even half bothered by the accusations. He isn't that type to stress on what people think of him. He just wants to have a peaceful stay at the university so he told the dean his side of the story so Junmyeon's harassment will stop.

After silent investigations, Junmyeon was proven guilty. Turned out, he had a similar problematic behavior when he was in high school. Junmyeon's parents apologized to Kris on their son's behalf, and decided to just transfer him to another school after he gets the necessary psychological treatment.

When the news of Junmyeon leaving school broke out, Kris was painted into an even worse person. He didn't try to clear his name in front everyone, though, for that is not just his style. He's not a fan of drama and he's more than content with his circle of friends who know who the real him is.

Chanyeol's brooding is interrupted by a sudden grip on his arm. He's startled to see Jinah clinging onto his biceps, pulling little tugs on his curry-stained polo. Sehun just raises his eyebrows at the girl.

"Yah! Why aren't you two coming with us later?" the question seemingly just directed to Chanyeol. "Even the guys from high school are coming!"

"I'm not in the mood." comes the very apathetic reply.

"And you, Sehunnie?" Jinah turns to the other man. Finally, Sehun thought he was invisible.

"Uh.. I'm also not in the mood."

"Hmp!" she stomps on her place, "Such killjoys."

Just like that, she flipped her hair on their faces and went on with her way. She is not used to persuading anyone for she usually gets what she wants. So to have her friends outwardly decline makes Jinah a little furious.

"Tss. That spoiled princess…" Sehun snorts.

This time, Chanyeol's mind ponders on how their friend, Jinah is misunderstood by most students of their school.

Im Jinah is a high school batchmate who now takes up a different course in the same university.

Her current workload isn't as heavy and her schedule is very flexible so she usually hangs with them at lunch. She also used to date someone from Chanyeol and Sehun's class so their blockmates know of her as well.

Although a familiar face, their block doesn't talk to her unless necessary. Her mean girl aura oozes with authority and her resting bitch face is enough to tell people that she is not here to please everyone.

For most students, Jinah is known as the crazy-bitch-who-framed-someone-innocent-for-stealing-her-boyfriend.

As per the infamous rumor, she planted some prohibited drugs in Shin Jimin's bag after learning that her then boyfriend, Jung Joonyoung cheats on her with the said woman. When the act was found out by the student welfare and disciplinary authorities, it caused the expulsion of both Jimin and Joonyoung. Like Junmyeon from Kris's case, everyone also thinks that the timid girl, Jimin is innocent.

That is why most students put the blame to Jinah, saying she used her connections and planned all of it to perfection, even without knowing what actually happened.

Everything about the rumor is true except for the framing part.

Jimin is actually a pusher who supplies weed to Jinah's ex—Joonyoung. They started out as mere sellers & buyers who eventually hit it off and started dating behind Jinah's back. The latter does not let a battle pass without fighting so when she felt something is wrong with her relationship, she dug deeper into the matter and tried to investigate.

It's really a surprise for her when she found out that Joonyoung is an actual stoner and that he is going out with his introverted classmate. And oh, the biggest plot twist of it all is that the shy classmate—Jimin, actually supplies prohibited drugs to a lot of students in their university.

Jinah decided to talk Joonyoung out of his bad habit but he did not listen. When his vices affected his schooling to the point that he's already absent in most of his classes, Jinah talked to Jimin instead. She doesn't care anymore if they fuck each other behind her back and that she's just genuinely reaching out as a concerned person, but in the end, Jimin just told her to back off.

During the confrontation, the two girls were oblivious that the student welfare coordinator, Mrs. Kang, was eavesdropping. Jinah only noticed it when she saw Jimin turning pale, staring at someone behind her.

Right in that moment, Mrs. Kang invited the two girls into her office. Unlucky for Jimin, three packs of weed were found inside her bag.

Their university is very conservative when it comes to trivial cases so all the people involved faced necessary disciplinary actions. Some students' parents agreed to a community service and other sanctions but for Jimin and Joonyoung, both families decided to take the matter into their own hands.

Both parents of both families are alumni of the university and know of the Ims' influence. Due to their children's scandal, they are already too embarrassed to still step into the university knowing that their kids offended an Im heir.

Since Jinah is the niece of the school's rector, most students believe that she used her connections to her advantage. Little do they know, she tried her best to deal with the matter as quietly as possible, not even wanting the issue to reach the deans moreso, her uncle.

But word travels fast that different versions of the story are made. The most controversial one being the most believed.

Chanyeol didn't notice his thumb and forefinger already massaging his own forehead. Just remembering the previous scandals of his friends already brought him headache. Sometimes, he wants to tell them their true identities but when he thinks of it, he doesn't find enough good reason to do so. They're already misjudged by everyone and they seem to just label them according to what fits their own narrative.

"Yah. You're so weird today." Sehun pulls him out of his thoughts.

"Hm what was that?"

"See? You're not listening again." Sehun groans in frustration. "I'll go ahead, Yeol. Focus on the road when you drive, okay? See you on Monday."

Chanyeol just nods at his friend. He thought he heard Sehun's _tssss_ before they parted but he's not so sure.

* * *

**January 2017 - Freshman year, 2 months into the second semester, and the night of the first dream.**

_Hmmm, it smells of apples and vanilla…_

_That was what Baekhyun noticed first. The scent was initially foreign but as he nuzzles in deeper to the skin, it surprisingly felt familiar. And there was a certain gravity pulling him closer and closer._

_Baekhyun’s arms are wrapped around someone else’s neck, his fingers caressing this person’s nape softly as he rests his entire body on the lap of this man, seemingly used to doing it like had done it countlessly before._

_Then there came a reverberating hum from this person and it suddenly made him shudder. The soothing buzz resonated with his body that he felt a strong vibration hammering inside his chest. Baekhyun is already confused at this point but he felt so weak that all he wanted to do is to savor whatever this is that this dream’s been giving him._

_A large palm suddenly plants on the small of his back, gliding in a gentle, up and down motion that makes him want to drown deeper into the warmth. Protective arms drape around his waist and he feels this man kissing his shoulders softly. A thought dawns upon Baekhyun that makes him suddenly feel hot. Whoever this person is, he's straddling him…_

_..and he's liking it._

_'Who are you?' Baekhyun wanted to ask, but he is too immersed in the feeling of warmth and comfort brought by the gentle humming._

_Baekhyun feels a strong tug at his chest. How can it seem like he’s dying from the frantic beating of his heart yet at the same time, he feels comforted by the presence of this unknown man? It's crazy._

_When he woke up from that dream, he just stared into the darkness of his room, feeling painfully disoriented. He wondered, who could be that person? He's never felt such strong emotions for someone before, and he can't help but feel sad that the moment had gone by too quickly. It was definitely so good while it lasted._

_"That was the best wet dream ever." he jokes to himself, thinking that what happened is just a one time thing. After all, most of his dreams before just turn into mere hazy scenarios during the day._

_But ever since that fateful night, what he thought was only a one time thing turned out to be something consistent._

_Whatever emotions he felt during the day, his person already seemed to know when they met in his dreams. He already knows how a sad Baekhyun wants to be comforted through hugs, how a worried Baekhyun wants to be reassured with kisses, and how a happy Baekhyun just simply wants to be loved._

_And without Baekhyun even realizing it, the man of his dreams had already taken over his heart._

* * *

Chanyeol hears pieces of glass shattering from behind the closed door. Inaudible shouting from his mom and dad could be made out from where he stands. He balls his fists unconsciously as the familiarity of the situation dawns upon him.

_Not again._

Chanyeol exhales the biggest sigh as he clutches on the doorknob, trying to compose himself before finally making his presence known.

When he finally entered their house, he didn't even bother to look at his parents who were both surprised by his sudden arrival. He went straight to his room, weight heavy on each step of the staircase, just venting out his anger by stomping arduously on the poor concrete.

Of course, he also made sure that his parents would hear how hard he slammed the door when he went inside his room.

_Ugh._

He hastily removes his curry-stained shirt and throws his bag on his chair. His parents who were shouting at each other one minute ago suddenly turned quiet.

_Now they're pretending nothing happened because I'm around? He launches himself to his bed, who are they kidding?_

All his life, Chanyeol had already seen different stages of his parents' quarreling. He used to cry when he was younger but as he grew older, he just got desensitized.

Chanyeol is just so used to it.

He thought his parents won't be around again tonight, so he decided to just go home early and have the house to himself. Right now, he's regretting his decision of not coming with his friends to drink at Ko Ko. This house that he's currently in is that last place that he wants to be right now.

"I only see them rarely yet when I do, they're always fighting." he chuckles bitterly. "Ah, I'm too old for this."

It could be the exhaustion from the hectic school week, the unfortunate event earlier at the cafeteria, or probably a mix of it all that Chanyeol just felt so sad in that moment.

"It's hard to be alone sometimes…"

He stares far ahead, just letting himself drown in his own feelings.

When he calmed down not long after, he felt fatigue slowly take over him. His eyes started to get heavier and his breathing began to go steady. Sleep is slowly taking over his body.

But before he fully succumbs,

"I wish you're here with me, Hyunie-ah." he mumbles half-asleep, clutching the pendant of his necklace tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you think a lot of things happened in this chapter? (◠‿◕)
> 
> I apologize if some of you might get confused with the university timeline and stuff... it's loosely based on the one I attended back in 201*-201* here in the PH. But if you want to understand, academic calendar is usually from June - March and is separated into two semesters with 5 months each. Grading system is via 5 point grading system where 1.0 is the highest, 3.0 means pass, and 5.0 means failure.
> 
> Hope it helps! (~‾▿‾)~


	4. 3 - Maybe It's Intuition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you keep thinking about a certain someone, does that mean you have a crush on them? 
> 
> Chanyeol is asking for a friend.

* * *

**July 2005 - Chanyeol's first year in kindergarten**

_"Eung? Why cwying?"_

_4-year old Chanyeol's sniffling suddenly stops._

_He gets startled when he feels a small, warm palm tapping him lightly on his shoulder. He immediately ducks his head on his own knees to hide, feeling slightly irked of this other kid's presence._

_Leave Chanchan alone, he thought. And so he shifts his position to the other side, back now facing the unfamiliar kid._

_Nobody likes Chanchan._

_Earlier in his play school, 4-year old Chanyeol got picked on again by his classmates. They always tease him of his chubby appearance that is emphasized by his short stature, but that's okay. They also like calling him 'elf boy' because of his weirdly shaped ears, but that's also okay. The little kid isn't that hurt anymore. He's already kinda used to it._

_What made him cry today is when the teacher asked them to draw their favorite pet. Most of Chanyeol's classmates drew a dog, a few others drew a cat, and two quiet pupils drew a bird. But Chanyeol... Chanyeol drew a ferret._

_‘Huuuh what is that?’_

_‘Is that a mouse???’_

_‘Is ugly!!!!!’_

_‘Teacher! Chanchan drew a yucky animal!’_

_‘Chanchan is scary!’_

_Nobody likes Chanchan._

_"Hewwo?" the nosy kid now peeps from under his forearm._

_Chanyeol was startled so he yanked himself away, clumsily hitting his own head on the tree trunk behind him._

_"Ow! You have ouchie!" the kid went even nearer and is now patting the little 'ouchie' he has on his head. "Sowwy..."_

_The apology caught Chanyeol's attention. It is very rare for someone to say ‘sorry’ to him. So with still drying tears running on his cheeks and snot dripping from his nose, he finally looks up to the unfamiliar kid._

_4-year old Chanyeol wasn't ready for it._

_The kid in front of him smiles so brightly and his adorable pair of droopy eyes looks at him so warmly._

_Chanyeol waited for the friendly expression to turn hostile once he met his gaze but that moment never came. The kid just kept crouching down in front him, still smiling brightly, and Chanyeol just can't help but stare._

_"Ouchie oki?" droopy eyed-kid pouts to the direction at the top of Chanyeol's head._

_Chanyeol thought this kid looked like a cute puppy. He nods in response, assuring his companion that his 'ouchie' doesn't hurt anymore._

_"What's yow name?"_

_Chanyeol just stares back._

_"Hm..." droopy eyed-kid pouts again._

_Chanyeol sees him stand up to get something from his back pocket before crouching down again in front of him._

_"Tadaa!" small arms hand out 2 pieces of lollipops to him._

_Chanyeol's eyes lit up with the treat laid, but he is still too shy to take something from this friendly kid. Plus, his mama told him never to talk to people he doesn't know so he immediately looked away._

_The other kid might have sensed Chanyeol's reluctance. Good thing, the former was smart enough to introduce himself first. "My name is Hyunie. I just turned five yews owld." said the kid, raising his palms up and emphasizing five stubby little fingers._

_Hyunie's smile is encouraging so Chanyeol started to feel comfortable around him. "I-I'm Chan..chan.." he managed to reply before raising four of his fingers, "I am four years old."_

_When Chanyeol finally said something, Hyunie's smile became brighter that it even reached his eyes. The kid is just so friendly and his warmth is so contagious that Chanyeol finds himself also mirroring his smile._

_Hyunie forces his lollipops into Chanyeol's hands. The latter takes it but returns one piece to him. "Let's share." he tells Hyunie._

_"No! Its yows, Chan.. chan?" Hyunie trails on the last syllable, amused at the repetition before smiling at him again. "I alweady ate two a while agow.." said kid whispers like it's a top secret that Chanyeol has to keep._

_"Thank you, Hyunie."_

_"Hehe tenchu Hyunie!" The smiley kid playfully mimics him._

_Are you my friend now? Chanyeol wanted to ask but he got too excited with the lollipops. He has the same ones at home but at that moment, he thought the ones Hyunie gave were sweeter than any other candy._

_"Why Chanchan alone?" Hyunie asks him._

_"Weyrting furr drivur."_

_"Eung?" Hyunie pulls the lollipop out of Chanyeol's mouth to make him say it again._

_"Waiting for driver." Chanyeol says more clearly now, so Hyunie gave him back his candy._

_Chanyeol isn't sure why Hyunie looked confused. Maybe he didn't know what a driver was, the 4-year old boy thought. He wanted to ask Hyunie why he's alone too but the smaller kid talks again._

_"Why Chanchan cwying?"_

_"Nobody likes Chanchan." he says, avoiding Hyunie's curious eyes._

_"Huh?" the smaller kid looked so offended, "Hyunie likes Chanchan."_

_The simple statement surprised Chanyeol. He didn't expect this kid he just met to like him already. He felt so overwhelmed with happiness that he didn't notice himself tearing up again._

_"Ahhh! Cwying again!!"_

_Hyunie's little hands wiped the tears that started falling on Chanyeol's cheek. He then pulls the latter's chubby cheeks into a forced smile, confusing Chanyeol of his actions. Upon seeing that the latter is still not smiling on his own, Hyunie impatiently pulls on his cheeks more that it started to hurt Chanyeol._

_"Ouchie ow! Hyunie, please stop!"_

_Hyunie didn't realize that he already pulled too much so felt sorry upon seeing Chanyeol massaging his swollen cheeks. "Sowwy Chanchan I just want you to smile." he pouts, "My mama does that when I cwy so I won't cwy anymow."_

_With that, Chanyeol finally understood what Hyunie was trying to do earlier. Although still feeling shy, he eventually showed a dimpled smile towards the latter._

_“Woah.. What is this???" Hyunie excitedly says, droopy eyes growing double as he pokes on the depression on Chanyeol's left cheek._

_Chanyeol enjoys the attention Hyunie is giving him. Even if they just met now, he already feels comfortable with the friendly kid’s presence. "My mama said it's a dimple." he says, finally answering the curious kid._

_"Pimple?"_

_"No. Dim-"_

_"Dim-"_

_"-Ple"_

_"-Ple. Dimple!"_

_Happy with the reaction, Chanyeol turns his other cheek and lifts the right side of his lips to boast for another dimple. "I have one more here."_

_"Wooooow! It's pwetty!" Hyunie says clapping, before poking the other dimple on Chanyeol’s right cheek._

_Chanyeol felt so happy in that moment. This cheerful kid he just met made him feel more appreciated than all the other kids from his class. He was always alone and even when at home, it's only rarely that his parents played with him. They are always busy working. It's only their chauffeur, Mr. Huang who usually spends time with him._

_Just then, a black car stopped in front of them. He sees Hyunie recognize the vehicle when the small kid suddenly stands up._

_"Chanchan that's my papa!"_

_A smiling man approaches them and he sees Hyunie run excitedly to meet him. Chanyeol stands too and bows at the man. His parents taught him to always be respectful of older people_

_"Oh? You've already found yourself a playmate, baby?" Hyunie's father ruffles his son's hair._

_"Yes papa, his name is Chanchan and he is fow yews old!"_

_"Hello, Chanchan! Nice to meet you, buddy" it's now Chanyeol's hair that he started ruffling, "Are you perhaps waiting for someone to pick you up?"_

_Chanyeol nods._

_"Papa, can I wait with Chanchan?" Hyunie tugs weakly at his father's clothes._

_Hyunie's father smiled at his son endearingly, fascinated at how thoughtful his 5-year old is. "Okay I'll wait for you in the car, hm?"_

_"Oki!"_

_The two kids played for another 10 minutes before Chanyeol's family's driver arrived to pick him up. Mr. Huang even had a small talk with Hyunie's dad as the two kids were so caught up in their own world and didn't want to end their playtime right away._

_When their guardians tell them playtime is over, Chanyeol bids his goodbye to Hyunie. But he was taken aback when the latter suddenly hugged him._

_"Chanchan let's pway again tomowow!" the smaller says as he tightens his hold on him, "You hew tomowow?"_

_"Yes. Always here after school.." Chanyeol points to the nearby nursery. "Mr. Huang picks Chanchan here everyday."_

_"Oki! Let's pway hew again!"_

_"Okay."_

_"Bye, Chanchan!_

_"Bye bye, Hyunie!"_

_On the car ride home, Mr. Huang addresses Chanyeol through the rearview mirror. “Our Chanchan looks happy today, eh?"_

_Chanyeol, being the usual shy and quiet kid only smiles back at him._

_"That adorable kid, what's his name?"_

_"Hyunie." Chanyeol smiles even wider, remembering the said angel._

_"Ah, I have to thank that kid tomorrow for making our Chanchan smile like that!"_

_Chanyeol felt shy with what Mr. Huang said so he just looked at the window, thinking of eating one more of the lollipop Hyunie gave a while ago._

_Mr. Huang rambles on how Hyunie's family just transferred in that neighborhood. That they also own businesses like Chanyeol's family and that they live just nearby the park beside the nursery._

_Chanyeol thought Hyunie's dad told Mr. Huang quite a lot in just a short while. But some of the things Mr. Huang is telling him now, he can't comprehend anymore. His 4-year old brain just wants to replay his playtime with Hyunie._

_"Looks like you won't get mad at me for always being late anymore, Chanieboo." Mr. Huang says, laughing._

_"Hm?"_

_"Your friend, Hyunie, will now play with you as you wait for me." he winks at the boy through the rearview mirror._

_Friend? Hyunie is Chanchan's friend now?_

_Chanyeol giggles adorably at the thought. The sound made Mr. Huang turn around to look at him properly, then he pinched Chanyeol’s chubby cheek, earning another fit of giggles from the kid._

_"Aigoo.." he coos, ruffling Chanyeol’s hair, "Happy looks so good on you, our Chanchan."_

* * *

It's Saturday morning and Chanyeol locks himself in his room. He waits for the sound of the front door closing—indicating his parents' outgo before finally going out of his room to eat breakfast. He'd rather eat in silence than pretend to be comfortable around the suffocating air there is whenever he's with his parents.

When he went down, scrambled eggs and toasts were waiting for him on their dining table. There is also a freshly brewed coffee on the French press, ready to be poured on to his favorite mug. _Nice,_ he thought.

He settled himself on the dining chair to eat, when a notification sound from his phone caught his attention.

**From: AaMom**

_Good morning, son :-) r u awake? We left breakfast._

Chanyeol taps a quick "yes mom. thanks". And just when he hit send, his phone started ringing. Chanyeol groans.

"Mom."

 _"Have you eaten? Your dad and I just left a few minutes ago. We should've stayed a bit longer to eat breakfast with you.."_ his mother rambles and Chanyeol could already imagine her frowning.

"It's okay mom."

_"What do you want for dinner, hm?"_

"Uh anything?" _as if you'll be around by then._

_"Sushi? You like sushi right, Chan?"_

"Yeah I guess."

_"Okay! See you later, my big baby."_

Chanyeol grimaces at the endearment. "Take care, mom.." he says to quickly end the conversation. "..and dad"

_"Alright, handsome. Bye bye."_

Chanyeol knows better than to look forward to the dinner his mom promised. He can easily count with his fingers the times when the three of them sat together to eat meals. His parents are always too busy with their businesses.

Chanyeol was never the sappy type but he grew up as a cold, quiet kid. He is an only child and growing up, his constant companions are just his newly released toys and gadgets compromising for his parents lack of physical presence.

Only a few people know of his dorky side and that includes his friends and most trusted family driver—Mr. Huang. His childhood friend, Hyunie, can also be included if and only if they were able to continue their friendship.

After breakfast, Chanyeol decided to go back to his room and think of ways to kill time. He checks his phone for notifications from his social media accounts and immediately laughs upon seeing the tagged photos of a drunk Kris dancing lanky at Ko Ko Chill Resto Bar.

He then decides to just take a shower to finally start his day. He's thinking of heading out to buy something from the nearby bookstore later, like some highlighters he'll use in reviewing for their upcoming exams, or just some unnecessary stuff he might get interested with.

He gets inside the bathroom, undressing himself along the way when he abruptly stops to look at his reflection in the mirror. The shiny silver chain hanging lowly around his neck catching his attention.

It has a small, simple, round pendant, engraved with what seems to be horns in front. The details engraved are done so intricately that from afar, it only looks like a plain round pendant. You really need to hold it to your face to be able to see the small details.

Having it for more than a decade already, Chanyeol knows all the subtle points of the accessory. It is the only thing left of his most cherished person, his calm after every storm, his comfort, _his_ Hyunie.

He smiles whenever he remembers the sweet memory of his childhood friend. His once unbearable moments in kindergarten turned out to be his most favorite memory.

He met the said kid two months after he started preschool and played with him in the park for more than a year. He didn't mind not having friends in school as long as whenever his classes are over and he runs as fast as he could to be in the nearby park, Hyunie will be there waiting for him.

His friend was homeschooled by his mom but they promised each other that when they start their elementary education, they'll eventually be in the same school as classmates.

However, as what usually happens in life, the promise made by two innocent kids was broken.

Chanyeol vaguely remembers the last day he spent with Hyunie. It was a very short moment compared to their usual afternoon play times at the park. Usually, Hyunie is a ball of sunshine who is always happy and full of energy. But there was one gloomy day in March, many years ago, that his angel of a friend looked so sad.

* * *

**March 2007 - Chanyeol's last year in kindergarten**

_They finally saw each other after one week of Chanyeol sitting alone beside the acacia tree, waiting for his favorite playmate at their usual meeting place._

_Chanyeol was excited to play again but he was shocked to see the different expression on his friend's face._

_He can only remember Hyunie hugging him as tight as he could, crying so hard that all Chanyeol can do is hug back tighter. His 6-year old self doesn't know how to comfort someone who's crying, most especially if that someone is Hyunie._

_Chanyeol thought that being constantly picked on by his classmates, he is already used to feeling sad. However, seeing his sweet, cheerful friend crying does weird things to his young heart. All he knew back then, he felt the saddest when he saw his most favorite person cry._

_He can't remember how long they sat there in silence, Hyunie just leaning on his shoulder, sobbing as he clasps their hands together tightly._

_Chanyeol wanted to ask what happened. He wanted to fight whoever made Hyunie cry. He never once thought of standing up for himself when other kids bully him but in that moment, he felt like he could overthrow anyone who hurt /his/ Hyunie._

_He wanted to, but he was so overwhelmed with the crying on his shoulder that in that moment, all he could do was stay with him._

_It was an unfamiliar woman who fetched Hyunie not long after. Where's your papa? Chanyeol wanted to ask but Hyunie beat him to it, like he always does, and started talking._

_For one week they didn't play. For one week he didn't see Hyunie. For one week he only looked forward to hearing his friend's chirpy voice again. But now that they finally saw each other after a week, 6-year old Chanyeol realized he wasn't looking forward to the first words Hyunie will tell him when they meet again._

_"This will be our last playtime, Chanchan." Hyunie can now pronounce his Rs well, he's almost 7 already, anyway. "I'm sorry.." and he starts crying again._

_Chanyeol's confused but all he does is pull Hyunie once more for a hug of comfort. His heart is breaking to a million pieces upon seeing his favorite person cry._

_Hyunie lets himself be pulled again, also tightening his hold on Chanyeol as he tries to suppress his sobs on the latter's shoulder._

_Before they part, Hyunie removes his bracelet and hands it to Chanyeol. The latter looked at him questioningly but Hyunie just smiled back. A very weak smile that didn't reach his eyes._

_"I'm.. I’m going, Chanchan."_

_"Where are you going?" Chanyeol's eyes are already forming a pool of tears._

_"I.. I don't know."_

_"What?"_

_"Keep this." Hyunie forces his bracelet into Chanyeol's hands, "If you miss me, this bracelet will remind me of you. It's my favorite so take care of it, okay?" he smiled again and Chanyeol is so annoyed at how that smile never reached Hyunie's eyes like it always does. "Bye, best friend."_

_"Hyunie, wait!"_

_Chanyeol wanted to run after him but his own feet stayed glued to the ground. He sees his friend's silhouette going farther and farther, slowly becoming smaller and smaller until it completely disappears._

* * *

Chanyeol kept his promise of keeping the bracelet Hyunie gave him. He used to wear it on his hands until fourth grade but his growth spurts started showing then that the dainty accessory didn't fit him anymore. He replaced the chain with a longer one and kept the pendant. Up until now, the bracelet turned necklace keeps him calm whenever his feelings are troubled.

He removes it for a while to place it on top of the sink before getting in the shower. He just lets himself bask in the stream, letting the water flow along his torso as he drowns in his thoughts.

Baekhyun's face suddenly pops into his mind.

Chanyeol was so startled that he unconsciously turned the shower knob off. The scenario he saw at the equipment room yesterday made an impact to him that his unexplainable _pull_ to Baekhyun became even stronger.

He hates how his brain relates what he saw at the equipment room to his memories of his childhood friend. He has been observing Baekhyun before but the latter never left a deeper impression on him than he did yesterday.

Ever since that fateful day when they were freshman, Chanyeol felt responsible to Baekhyun. He wanted to make up for the trouble he caused him with his project but Baekhyun was too adamant on neglecting him.

He tried to apologize countless times but all he got was angry stares and innumerable eye rolls. Baekhyun hates him. It doesn't help that their clique is also negatively labeled in their school so Baekhyun—being very vocal about his stance against bullying hates him even more.

In spite of the antagonistic response he always gets from Baekhyun, Chanyeol never returned the unfriendly treatment. He may be yielding by steering away from the person who blatantly hates him, but he never shrugged the thought of feeling the need to protec- _no,_ watch over Baekhyun.

Sehun teases him about it, but Chanyeol always counters him by saying it is just him being responsible. So without him realizing it, he already started noticing Baekhyun's little inconveniences and he unconsciously does his part of being responsible by trying to minimize said inconveniences.

However, the scene in the equipment room yesterday bothers Chanyeol so much. It bugs him more that his mind subconsciously relates a beautiful memory to someone who clearly loathes him. What irritates him the most is how the thought continues to disturb his thoughts repeatedly.

Chanyeol pulls his hair in annoyance as he turns the knob again, wetting himself under the shower, and grabs his bottle of body wash to finally start on his bath.

"What the fuck is wrong with me??" he squeezes the tube aggressively, pouring out a lot of product on his palms. "Fuck." his clumsy ass tries to return some of it inside the tube while muttering "Ah I'm sorry, Hyunie.. fuck I'm sorry, maybe I just miss you."

He managed to finish taking a bath with most of his hair still intact and his body smelling strongly of his body wash. He wanted to distract himself from his crazy thoughts immediately so he hurriedly changed into clean clothes—a sweater, denim shorts and a beanie, of course, before leaving the house to head to the bookstore.

The weather outside was pleasant so Chanyeol opted to roll down the windows of his car on the way. He smiles at himself, feeling elated at the contact of the cool breeze on his freshly bathed skin. The road is almost empty too so with the smooth ride to his destination, Chanyeol felt more positive about the turnabout of his day.

Or did he speak too soon?

"Why is the universe not taking pity of me and my crazy thoughts?" he grunts to himself as he sees the pale boy from yesterday who spilled curry on his polo.

Chanyeol wasn't expecting to see such a familiar face when he arrived at the bookstore. His mind reels back again to the scene at the equipment room. No matter how much he tries to avoid thinking about Baekhyun, it's like the universe teases him into making him think about the latter more.

Chanyeol tries to ignore the thought and just fixes his attention on the curry boy. The latter is busy looking at the orderly pile of notebooks and binders like an innocent high schooler. Chanyeol suddenly feels a pang of guilt, remembering just how he startled the said boy yesterday with his bad temper.

His mind reminds him of Baekhyun too, comforting and crouching down in front of the poor boy and he felt even more apologetic, like he wanted to redeem himself—to Baekhyun or to curry boy, he doesn't know.

As a person who's very awkward with human interaction, it took Chanyeol a couple of minutes to convince himself to come up and apologize to the curry boy. He is only about a few steps away when he doubted himself again and retracted himself by turning around.

_No, I can't do it. I'll just pretend I didn't see—_

"Chanyeol-ssi?" 

Chanyeol's eyes grew double when he heard the curry boy address him. 

"Y-yeah?" He turned around to face him, scratching the back of his head while thinking of how to deliver his apology smoothly.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday.." but the boy beats him to it.

Chanyeol was surprised so he gawks at him.

Curry boy took a step back, probably startled at how Chanyeol's eyes were almost coming out.

"I- I should be the one to apologize.." Chanyeol finally managed to form a coherent sentence. "Sorry for glaring at you yesterday. I know it was an accident but I was just too surprised and didn't know how to react. I have.. I uh… I shouldn't have said those words to you too. Sorry."

Curry boy just blinks at him rapidly, his mouth slightly open.

"If you're concerned about my shirt, don't worry about it anymore." Chanyeol mumbles, avoiding the boy’s intense gaze.

"Wow." the curry boy finally says something back.

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows at him, wondering which of his statements is 'wow'.

"I didn't expect that," the curry boy continues, showing an adorable dimpled smile. "Thank you for saying that, Chanyeol-ssi. It really made me feel at ease."

"Uh.. you're welcome?" Chanyeol chuckles, "What's your name, by the way? You're new aren't you?" he mentally congratulates himself at how he carries on the conversation with a person he just met.

"Yixing. Zhang Yixing. I'm a sophomore and yes, I just transferred here."

 _Oh, Chinese? That explains the accent..._ Chanyeol thought as he nodded back at him.

"So.. I'll see you around school, Chanyeol-ssi?"

"Yeah, sure. See you." Chanyeol flashes him a toothy grin.

Yixing waves at him and he sees himself waving back.

Chanyeol went on with his initial mission to buy highlighters and distract himself from his crazy thoughts. Initially, he thought that meeting Yixing was the universe's way of teasing him. But the encounter they had earlier actually turned out to be a good distraction. It felt nice to make a new friend. It was like a breath of fresh air for someone whose social circle is very limited.

Yixing was thoughtful enough to tap him again on the shoulder to say goodbye after paying at the cashier. The kid is really nice and Chanyeol is glad to be able to make amends with him. 

Chanyeol picks one last sticky note from the rack and places it in his basket before lining up in front of the cashier. It's only around 3pm and he's almost done with his bookstore agenda. Not wanting to go home yet, he decides to stroll around the area after paying to kill time.

He is very familiar around this part of the city. Ko Ko Chill Resto & Bar is just around the corner and he and his friends usually frequent this area after having drinks at the said establishment. Chanyeol suddenly stops at his tracks like he had an epiphany. 

He lets his feet drag himself to a _very familiar_ coffee shop across the street.

"Hi! One iced americano, please." Chanyeol says to a feline-looking man from behind the counter.

"Can I get a name?" the man says smiling as he holds a plastic cup and a pen, ready to scribble on the cup.

"Chanyeol."

He flashes another feline smile at Chanyeol before turning around to whip the ordered beverage.

Before ringing the bell on the claiming area and shouting "ONE ICED AMERICANO FOR CHANYEOL!", the barista eyed the recipient of the drink for a moment.

He can't help but feel that he has already seen the tall guy before. He definitely wasn't a regular at the coffee shop but he's sure that he is a familiar face. The barista stops in his reverie when he sees two customers approaching the counter so he finally rings the bell to get Chanyeol's attention.

When Chanyeol finally got his drink, said his thanks, and left the café, Minseok called his other staff to man the cashier.

"You're taking your break now, boss?" Lucas, a staff member, asks his manager after being called.

"Yeah.. Hey. Do you remember Baekhyun?"

Lucas looked at him for a moment, trying to remember who the said person was.

"Pretty guy. Part timed here for 5 months last, last year?"

"AH!" Lucas's realization was a bit too loud that some heads turned around to look at them.

"I think his boyfriend was my last customer." Minseok smiles at his staff, remembering how a tall, lanky guy that looks so much like his last customer used to wait outside their café at 10pm MWF.

"I thought Baekhyun was single, though?" Lucas answers him discreetly while tapping swiftly on the POS as he takes orders.

"Hmmm. I don't know. I always see one guy follow him home whenever he's on night shift."

"Huh? Isn't that creepy?" Lucas whispers to him while smiling at the customers at the same time.

Minseok thinks about his interaction with Chanyeol earlier and thinks that the tall guy is anything but creepy.

"Um, I don't think so... Baekhyunnie always gets home safely because of that guy." he winks back at Lucas, patting his shoulder as he walks his way toward the employees room.


End file.
